I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
