She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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