Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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