And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
