Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
