Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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