Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize