suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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