There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
