You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
