There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
