What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
