You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
