Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hippo gnu deer
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Couch. On fire.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
