My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
