in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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