Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Randomize
