You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
