your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
