We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
