dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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