A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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