I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
