You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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