if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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