My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
