Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
