But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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