tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
