Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
