Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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