dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
