Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
