i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
