Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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