Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
