I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
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Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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