Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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