I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
