I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize