you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize