someone get that fucking seahorse.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
