This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
