just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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