my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
