Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
