There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
