Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
