Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think your dad took our porno
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
