I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
