I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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