Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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