I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
