Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
