Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
