One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
