so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
