If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i out mim tonsoeep
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