Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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