You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
