He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
